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r​é​paratrice e​.​p.

by Garlands

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1.
Evangelion 04:11
blackout starshine blackout flatline shes on my mind right now right time back out black cloak skrt skrt oh no fuck the popo you don't want smoke dance in the dew while i think about you you know its true i love you i don't wanna fall apart please don't let me fall apart
2.
i need a little bit just a little bit i need some more of it please give me more of it i want all of it i need all of it i'm gonna take all of it its mine i think i'm losing my mind i feel like i'm running out of time sprinter running through the stars winners we'll never get too far stargazer i'm chasing speed chasing lightning you're all i need riding in the pitch black red leather summer stunner i can't stand the sound of thunder underwater not a whimper nothing known i'm so alone
3.
i've figured out the differences between grime and greed i'm used to taking what i want never having what i need there's the conceited cattle the bastardized battles the tellers and tattles my rhetoric rattles i wish i wasn't so afraid to speak my mind i've been spending so much time wasting all of my time inducing my eyes blind just so i can cross the line i keep lying to myself saying everything's fine i try to stay awake because i'm too scared to die i feel so much pain feel so drained when the rain cries i feel so pathetic rolling around in the mud some days i pray for the end so i can swim in the flood a lustful jehovah untruthful beholder each day i get older stinking of dead dirt may i remind you i'm right behind you may i remind you that i'm always beside you chasing ghosts chasing ghosts chasing ghosts chasing ghosts i'll never let go because i need you the most it's such a shame to feel so ashamed i've been pointing the blame i play the game i'm limping lame it's so insane like a wasting gimp flicking lint but it's alright i'm switching lanes in the night with no lights i think i'm ready to die i keep putting up fights i keep saying i'm alright but they know it's a lie i decay and drown i'm playing make believe to turn my frown upside down they say it takes a village but i nearly burned the whole village down

about

30 years in the making. Shame, guilt and blame. Mixed boy quadroon never knowing where to stand. Who to be. What to think. Birthed by R&B. Broken by the American Christ. Exorcised by Hardcore Punk. Learning to forgive myself. Forgive others. Accountability. Abused. On/Off. Sober addict. Trying harder. Never hard enough. Never again. Never again. Never again. Trauma. Depression. Anxiety. Son. Brother. Lover. Father. A lifetime of regrets. A lifetime of repairing. A lifetime of regaining. Make 'em proud. Learning to fly again. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you for listening. Play it loud AF FR.

credits

released November 22, 2020

All lyrics/vocals/music by Steffan Paul Leffew-Rost

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all rights reserved

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Garlands Savannah, Georgia

STARSKIPPER1996

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